


Struggling to make things right (turn the pain into power)

by shipintheisland



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Jos Verstappen's A+ Parenting, M/M, TW : mention of physical violence and abuse, mentions of child abuse, more like dealing with the consequences, no violence, someone give Max a hug now
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-18
Updated: 2019-12-18
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:08:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21834961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shipintheisland/pseuds/shipintheisland
Summary: Start of the 2019 season is restless for Max. New teammate, more pressure from the team, his father is following him everywhere and to make it even worse, it has been months since Daniel had talked to him, and he still didn't know why. He couldn't count the number of times he tried to get his lover's attention, it was like he disappeared from the Aussie's life. The omnipresence of his father clearly isn't helping, and Max has to live with the heartbreak through the new season.
Relationships: Daniel Ricciardo/Max Verstappen
Comments: 3
Kudos: 97
Collections: Motorsport Secret Santa 2019





	Struggling to make things right (turn the pain into power)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Lily_Anna](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lily_Anna/gifts).



> Title from Superheroes by The Script
> 
> Well well well, first time writing angst in my whole life! I'm pretty happy with what came out of it, as I feel like I'm touching a subject I know a little too much about, but still, it was hard but interesting to write.  
> Huge thanks to my lil sis for beta reading me again even if she still doesn't care about F1 lmao
> 
> This is a Christmas present for Lily_Anna, I hope you will like it, it was a pleasure to try and write something for you :)
> 
> Good read!

Max walked out the Red Bull garage after the first practice session of the week, followed by his father and Helmut Marko talking quietly about his results. Why the team counsellor got along so well with his paternal, he never understood, but the old man had happily let him know a few days ago that Jos Verstappen would be very welcomed on the paddock at every race, to Horner’s biggest annoyance as his boss seemed to despise the former Dutch driver. Not that Max would care, he was used to be followed and advised by dad since his young age.

Max quickly stopped listening to the usual critics the two behind him were throwing passionately. Lost in his thoughts, his feet were automatically taking him to his motorhome where a lunch with his new teammate was waiting for him. The young man sighed heavily, that was a change he would surely take time to get used to. Pierre was nice, of course, smiling, passionate, and as lazy as him, he could even call the few days they spent together at the factory good memories. But…

Pierre was not Daniel. Pierre was not goofy, or overly enthusiastic, or a terrible joker, he was not completely lost when he felt even slightly off, he was not a bad liar, he couldn’t read in his mind like his every thoughts were written on his face, he wasn’t challenging him every day on and off track, he wouldn’t care of his injuries without asking anything, he was not cuddling, he didn’t have untamed hair that Max could spend his days running his hands in, and he probably didn’t have lips as soft as the ones he knew by heart. No, Pierre was barely his friend, and he was certainly not his lover.

Max pushed his hands deeper in his pockets, frowning and looking down. Could he really call Daniel his lover anymore now? The Aussie had been avoiding him like the plague for the last months, barely looking at him the few times the younger driver managed to catch him on the paddock before the end of the previous season, and never answering his texts or calls. Since the announcement of his move to Renault, Daniel had made everything possible to disappear from Max’s surroundings, but never actually giving his former teammate a reason why. And Max just couldn’t understand that. They were so close before, close friends in front of the world’s eyes, closer lovers behind hotels’ doors, they were so far from the nothing they suddenly became a few months ago.

A familiar laugh snapped him back to reality, and the Dutchman raised his head to turn his gaze to the source of the noisy snorts. Further on the paddock, his missing friend was talking with his new teammate, arms moving widely to follow his seemingly crazy story, if he could tell by the mix of incredulousness and amusement on Nico’s face. Max’s heart ached a little at the view, and he couldn’t help but be slightly jealous of the German driver, who got the unknown chance of spending most of his time with Daniel Ricciardo.

A strong hand on his shoulder made him jump, and his father made him move again as Max realised he had stopped walking in his trail of thoughts. “Stop that, he is not worth your time.” The older man’s voice left no place to any answer, and Max had to refrain himself from turning around and checking if Daniel had noticed him. His father may not know about the two former teammates’ affair, but the other driver leaving the team was enough for him to take his son as far away as possible. Max felt his chest tighten, as he continued his path, not feeling the pair of brown eyes following him from afar.

_“Fucking hell mate, that was amazing!”_

_Two strong arms encircled him and shook him up and down happily as Max let himself laugh loudly. When his feet finally met the floor again, he steadied himself with a hand on the other’s shoulder who smiled brightly at him._

_“Winning a race on your first week with us, what a power move!”_

_If one day, someone had told Max that Daniel fucking Ricciardo would be impressed by him, the teen would have never believed it. The Aussie was the Red Bull star, a winner, a most likely future World Champion, and he got to surprise HIM. Max was floating on clouds._

_“Thanks Daniel. Guess me coming here was not such a crazy idea after all.”_

_The older man’s smile grew wider (how was that even possible??) and he squeezed his new teammate’s arms while jumping excitedly. Max winced, the old scratch on his arm burning him under Daniel’s hand, but he didn’t say anything, way too happy to care._

_“We should go out and celebrate, this is a great day!”_

_Max didn’t have a second to answer as the curly-haired man was already dragging him away, happily chatting about a bar he knew around and promising to come back early enough to party with the team. All of his doubts about coming to Red Bull so early dissipated that night, only replaced by the memory of the biggest and most sincere smile that he ever saw._

In the few minutes following his return to the garage, after a long race in Baku, Max went to live the full range of emotions his body could manage to feel. First, simple happiness, a fourth place was far from bad seeing who was in front of him. Then, annoyance at the usual realisation of being so close to a podium. His first steps after exiting the car were accompanied by the deception of his father leaving the garage without a look, clear disappointment on his face. He felt a little better while congratulating his team, encouraging each other to do even better next time. The pat on the shoulder that Christian provided him right after with a small smile opened the gates of his pride, if his boss was pleased with his results, why shouldn’t he? He felt sorry for Pierre when he then heard about the early end of race for his teammate. And finally, when he saw the full results, his mind went blank for a second at the name on the bottom of the grid, showing that Daniel had not finished the race either. Knowing the Aussie (at least he hoped he still knew him as much as he did before), he must be fuming somewhere on the paddock. Months ago, when one of them was having a hard time on the track, they would stay in one of their rooms in the Red Bull’s motorhome, either talking, sneaking beers or on the last times cuddling on the small sofa that could be there from time to time… For a second, Max thought of going to the Renault motorhome, but reconsidered it immediately, surely Daniel wouldn’t be happy to see him now.

He had tried, really. He missed Daniel a lot, missed the time they spent together, missed his smile and his bad jokes, missed his hugs and his touches… At the end of the last season, Max had tried to catch his teammate’s attention, coming directly at him to engage a conversation, stopping him from leaving after filming a video, even knocking on his hotel’s door. But the Aussie had used every reason he could to stop the younger driver’s attempts. The change in his attitude was so abrupt that after several months, Max still couldn’t get what happened. One morning, he was waking up in his lover’s arms, happily cuddling until they were almost late for practice, and at the end of the day, it was like Daniel didn’t know him anymore, barely looking at him, staying silent whenever Max came to him. The last promotional videos were filmed in a very tense atmosphere, to the point that their boss had asked the two men to smooth things between them, not knowing that one of them was losing hope on that. After a long period of silence during the winter break, Daniel didn’t even shake hands with the other when the Dutchman tried to make things right again during the winter testings. Broken hearted, Max gave up, not having any more ideas to get back close to his former teammate.

Strangely, Jos Verstappen never commented on that situation despite not getting along at all with the Australian driver. On the second Max joined the Red Bull team, his father had made snarky remarks about the actual driver of the team, criticizing every moves on and off track, keeping his then young son from spending time with him or even talk to him. If it wasn’t for Daniel trying discreetly (as much as someone as loud and remarkable as him could) to get him out of his shell, he wasn’t sure he would be where he was now. The older man had always been there for him, even arguing vehemently with his father to give Max a break sometimes, quickly joined by their team manager who couldn’t stand the old Verstappen. Max knew perfectly well that the few times his father couldn’t come to the races were the times Christian and Daniel associated for the young Red Bull protégé to feel less pressured and enjoy some time alone on race weeks.

After fulfilling his media duties, the young driver walked back to his motorhome, knowing his father would be waiting for him in his personal room. His brain went through all the possible scenarios for the coming discussion – argument – and a cold shiver ran down his spine at some thoughts.

Sighing heavily, he fished his phone out of his pocket, sending a single message, sadly knowing he would never get an answer.

**Hey Dan, sorry for your race, hope you’re doing alright, if you want to talk I’m still around**

_Max’s vision was blurry, noises resonated in his head loudly and without Daniel’s arm encircling his waist, he would lose balance in a second. Ok, maybe he had drank a little more than what he should have, but the end of his first season was something he definitely had had to celebrate properly. He had a hard time dragging his feet on the carpet of the hotel’s entrance, letting the older man accompanying him lead the way. Daniel was not particularly more sober either, but he at least seemed to know where they were going, Max having completely forgotten his room number after the fourth round of shots. They stopped in front of metal doors that the Dutchman took way too much time to identify as the elevator, and he slung an arm around the Aussie’s shoulders, nearly impaling his eye in the process._

_“I feel so dizzy, man…”_

_Daniel chuckled, but his younger teammate couldn’t bring himself to lift his head and see his face, aware that the simple movement could make him throw up instantly. He was wasted._

_“Be brave, my friend, we’re nearly there.”_

_The way up to their floor was filled with a peaceful silence, Daniel steadying the young driver in his arms so that he would not faceplant the floor. Max was exhausted, and as the world started spinning around him, he leaned against the other man’s chest to stop the unwanted feeling. He inhaled deeply, and he regretted it instantly. Daniel’s scent filled his lungs and clouded his brain even more, all his sickness forgotten when the older man ran his hand along his back. At that moment, he knew he would do something stupid if he didn’t focus more, heart beating faster and brain not catching up anymore._

_Max opened his eyes when the elevator stopped moving and he was dragged away in the corridor, whining loudly at the lost closeness with the Aussie. They arrived in front of a door, probably his own room, but as Daniel started to release him, Max threw himself on him, arms encircling his neck, making Daniel laugh aloud and return the hug._

_“You’ll have to let me go, mate, if you want to go to sleep.”_

_Max mumbled some unintelligible words that he himself wasn’t sure of the meaning, bringing the older driver even closer to him. When asked to repeat, he took a deep breath, enjoying the other’s scent, and hid his face in Daniel’s neck._

_“Don’t wanna go in, he’ll kill me if I’m drunk.”_

_His teammate froze under his arms and Max was sure he also stopped breathing, his chest not moving against his, and the next minute was completely silent. The young man then felt something brush against his temple, and he blushed heavily when he realised that Daniel just gave him a kiss._

_“Ok, understood, you can sleep in my room” The Aussie said with a smile._

_Max nodded, regretting his choice of answer when the world spinned even faster. He would sleep in his teammate’s room, it would be safe, it would be nice, and his beating heart and lightness had nothing to do with it._

Quietly humming an imaginary song, Max pushed the door of the Red Bull motorhome and walked in the direction of the garage, ready to climb in his beloved car and start the race as soon as possible. Max knew he was down for a good race, under the Monegasque sun, a third place on the grid and a team as motivated as ever. To make it even better, he got what he needed to get his hopes for a reconciliation with Daniel up.

Months of silence and avoidance from his friend and lover, heartbreaks and painful longing from himself, and finally, _finally_ , the world gave him a good sign on that matter. The day before, after his qualifying session, he had been talking with his teammate Pierre, both of them excited for their results on the grid. He had been wearing a huge smile the whole time, until a movement far behind the French driver had caught his eyes, and his heart had skipped a beat when his gaze had landed on Daniel, arms crossed, smiling lightly in his direction. Their eyes had crossed, and Max had felt his cheeks reddening when the Renault driver hadn’t turned his head as he usually did, instead looking at him with a somewhat sad expression. Confused, the younger man had kept his eyes on him for a few seconds more until the Renault woman he was originally talking with tapped on his shoulder, and Daniel looked away, never turning to his former teammate again. But that was enough for Max, one step further to an explication and hopefully a way back to what they were before – whatever it really was in the end, anything would feel better than nothing for him at this point.

The Dutchman walked down the pitlane, heading to his team’s side when a hand on his arm forced him to turn around. He suddenly found himself face to face with Daniel, the Aussie’s expression similar to his, eyes wide and head sunk in shoulders. If Max’s brain hadn’t stopped working, he would have thought the older man looked as surprised as him of his own actions. But his brain short-circuited, and the younger driver had to force himself to breathe and suddenly the world felt warmer with Daniel’s eyes on him and his hand on him and his lips moving as if to form words and Daniel was going to talk to him and –

“MAX!”

His father’s voice boomed from behind him, and Daniel’s hand retracted from his arm at light speed, face turning white in a fraction of second as he watched with wide eyes Jos Verstappen stepping closer to them. Max opened his mouth to say something – anything – but didn’t have the time as Daniel quickly walked away, shooting glares to the old Dutchman with a weird expression. The boy’s shoulders sank, and he watched the man he needed so much leave again, confused and desperate, but not able to do anything as his oblivious father stopped at his side, watching the Renault driver with a blank face, atmosphere suddenly tense.

“You should get ready, Max, it’s nearly time.”

The strict tone left no space for any protestation, but as Max started walking back to his garage, he realised his father was not moving from his position, eyes still stuck on the Renault entrance where Daniel just disappeared.

_It was late in the night when Max knocked impatiently on his teammate’s door, jumping from one foot to the other restlessly. In a few hours, the 2018 season would finally start after months of calm and the young Red Bull driver was so excited he couldn’t sleep. Not that he had planned too, the key card Daniel had discreetly slipped in the back pocket of his jeans with a tap and a smug grin earlier was enough to keep him awake all night, he was sure of this. He shot a look around him, checking for any unwanted presence, and smiled to himself when he was sure no one would notice him outside of his room after midnight just before a race. Finally, the door opened and Max quickly entered the bedroom, slamming the door shut with his foot and throwing his arms around Daniel’s waist, closing the space between them and humming contently when two arms encircled his shoulders in return._

_“Sorry I’m so late, I couldn’t get my dad to leave my room. He’s so anxious for tomorrow.”_

_The Aussie’s grip on him tightened for a second, and the younger man felt a short breath brush his neck._

_“Ignore him, you’re going to do great tomorrow.”_

_“Yeah, we’re going to do great!”_

_Max took a step back to look at his lover’s face whose usual smile was growing at the remark. Daniel ran a hand through his teammate’s hair, taking a light grip on the strands behind his neck with a smirk and pulled him back to him, kissing him gently. The Dutchman immediately closed his eyes, melting on those lips he was growing accustomated to with every night they spent together. They stayed like this for what felt like hours but in reality was probably just a couple of minutes, until Daniel stepped back without letting go of his lover, slowly dragging them towards the bed._

_“Let’s get under the sheets, I’m cold.”_

_Max nodded absentmindedly, trying not to break contact as they sat down on the mattress, kissing and giggling like teenagers on their first night out. The young man caught his lover’s hand and they snuck under the sheets, shoulders touching as they watched each other fondly._

_“I missed you.”_

_Max closed his mouth quickly, his distracted mind didn’t have the time to stop him from talking. But the smile the Aussie was wearing only grew even more as his cheeks slightly flushed, and he bended a little to give his younger partner a peck on the lips._

_“Me too, Maxy. Let’s never separate that long again.”_

_The Dutchman hummed, letting Daniel pull him against his chest and run a hand on his arm. The long fingers brushed a particular spot on his upper arm and he frowned, freezing instantly when he felt the sleeve of his night shirt getting slowly lifted. If the other driver saw the large bruise marking his skin, he didn’t say anything, and Max mentally thanked him for that. He didn’t want to have that discussion_ again _, not tonight. Daniel brought him closer, kissing the top of his head lovingly in the process, telling him so many words without pronouncing one, and Max closed his eyes, chuckling when a hand slipped under his shirt. Surely they wouldn’t sleep as much as they should tonight._

“Wait Max I’m sor-“

He didn’t hear the next words as he slammed the door behind him, his hand going straight to his now swollen wrist, ears ringing from the pain and panic flooding him. As he started walking in the hotel’s corridor, his vision became blurry, either from his heavy breathing or the tears forming in his eyes, he didn’t know nor care. Right now, he needed to find a safe place.

He needed someone who would help him take care of his wrist, who would not ask embarrassing questions, who would not judge when they would inevitably understand the problem, who would not panic afterwards and try and tell someone else. It was nothing really, just an accident – ~~painful and hurting accident~~ – but few people would understand that. And that was why he stopped his fast walk in front of a particular door, recognising the room number he overheard in a conversation earlier in the week. Surely the other wouldn’t leave him outside this time when he saw his state.

Max inhaled deeply, wiped his eyes with his sleeves, prayed he didn’t look too panicked (no need to make it look messier than it really was) and knocked lightly on the door. No sound came from the room after a few seconds, so he tried again, more strongly this time, growing impatient. Maybe he wasn’t there, or already sleeping, or he had spotted him in the peephole and decided the door was better closed…

The young man bit his lower lip, watching the door with pleading eyes as if it would open if he wished for it hard enough. He needed some help, even just for a few minutes, just the time for him to regain his composure and hide the forming bruise on his wrist before going back in his room. He had done it so many times before, but he was never alone, he wasn’t sure he could handle the situation as calmly if the door stayed closed.

The sound of the door handle moving snapped him out of his thoughts and he found himself facing Daniel Ricciardo, the older man’s face immediately expressing surprise as his eyes grew wide at the sight.

“I know you don’t want to be around me, or talk to me or anything, but please I need your help!”

Max’s tone might have been a little too pleading, but right now he didn’t care. Daniel raised his left eyebrow questioningly, and his former teammate gulped, looking down.

“It happened again…” He added quietly, hoping it would be enough for the other to understand the situation.

The words seemed to land heavily on Daniel who inhaled sharply, taking a step back. Max opened his mouth, ready to insist again but suddenly the Aussie put his head outside of his room, quickly eyeing the corridor on both sides as if to make sure no one was seeing them, then put his hand on the younger’s back to push him inside, slamming the door shut behind them.

“Where?”

Daniel’s voice was low, but already filled with worry, and Max regretted coming here in the first place, but he still raised his right arm, where red marks were still visible around his wrist.

Without a word, the Renault driver dragged him further in the room, making him sit on the edge of the bed before disappearing in the bathroom.

“It’s not broken or anything that bad” Max called to make sure the other man wouldn’t overthink the situation. “Just a little twisted, nothing bad.”

Daniel stepped out of the bathroom, a cream tube in hand, and gave him an exasperated look.

“If it really was nothing bad, you wouldn’t be here.”

The young Dutchman swallowed, pursing his lips and looking down. The Aussie sat down next to him and took his hand, carefully examining the bruise. Now that Max got a better look at him, he could see fear on his former teammate’s face at the sight of the hand mark around his swollen wrist, clearly letting known what caused the pain. His carer squinted his eyes accusingly with a shaky breath, then silently applied some medicinal cream on his skin. Max winced at the cold feeling and watched his fellow driver take care of him. They didn’t say anything for another few minutes, until Daniel exhaled loudly, keeping his eyes on his work.

“Wanna tell me what happened?”

Max hesitated, biting his lip once again.

“We argued about qualifying results, like usual. He wouldn’t calm down, and when I tried to go to the bathroom to cool a little, he caught my arm. I tried to fight him and then…”

He shot a glance at his wrist, and the look on Daniel’s face left no doubt that he understood what was implied. He stopped spreading the lotion and closed his eyes, looking conflicted but Max couldn’t understand why.

“Has it happened before?”

The younger one frowned, Daniel knew perfectly well it was not a first. The other added: “This year, I mean” and Max mumbled a small “yeah”, eyes not leaving the floor anymore.

The Aussie got up slowly, rubbing a hand under his chin and leaving his fingers around his neck, not quite facing his younger counterpart. The Dutchman tilted his head, wondering why his former teammate was behaving so strangely comparing to their last similar encounters. Usually, he would care for his bruises, pester and argue that Max should stop going back, and assure him he would be there if (when) it would happen again.

“Fucking liar…” Daniel mumbled.

“What?”

Now Max was really lost, what was he talking about? The older driver turned around slightly and he looked _furious_.

“Daniel, what is going on?”

Dan’s thumb rubbed against his neck. “Dan?” The man still wouldn’t raise his eyes to him, and Max got a weird feeling of déjà vu. A last look on his wrist and he got up, walking closer to the Aussie who didn’t move from his spot.

“Are you ok?” Max tried, putting his not hurt hand on the other’s shoulder, and Daniel shot his head up, looking right in his eyes with a pained expression.

“Am I ok? What the fuck Max, I should be the one asking you this!” The sudden outburst made the younger driver flinch, but Daniel continued, voice breaking midsentence.

“I should have known it was all bullshit, he never stopped and I hurt you too in the process! This is crazy, I’m so sorry!”

Tears were running down his cheeks and Max wanted to do something to comfort the man, but he was so confused at the moment. He frowned, and carefully asked:

“Daniel, what are you talking about?”

The Aussie run his hand on his neck again, looking down at his feet.

“Your father… He promised me he would stop bothering you.”

 _Wait, what?_ Max now fully regretted coming here, as he had the terrifying feeling that he would hate what Daniel was implying. Daniel didn’t seem to notice his stupor and the next words he pronounced broke Max’s heart in a million of pieces.

“He promised he would never hurt you again if I stay away from you…”

Now Daniel was fully crying, and Max didn’t know what to do. He had never seen his friend so miserable, big tears escaping his eyes and sobbing fully, and somewhere in his mind Max hoped he was able to do something. But he wasn’t, suddenly feeling dizzy, and he stepped backwards, looking at Daniel with wide, terrified eyes, a single memory coming back to him. As much as he had thought of it as something insignificant, he was now persuaded it could explain their current situation.

_Max was walking back to the garage, disappointment for the race filling his head and heart. What worse way to start the summer break than with a DNF, really? He still hadn’t seen his father, but surely their next encounter wouldn’t be nice either. And on top of that, he had forgotten his phone in the garage!_

_He kicked his foot in thin air, he needed to blow off some steam. As soon as he would get his phone, he would call Lando, destroying him on FIFA would be a good start, and the young Brit wouldn’t mind as long as his friend didn’t shove him with the pillows._

_The pit lane was empty, seeing the late hour and the rest of the teams were outside, getting the trucks with materials ready to leave. The sound of his footsteps resonated in the garages he passed, and the only lights illuminating his path came from the track. Getting closer to the Red Bull garage, he heard someone talking, still too far away to discern the words clearly._

_“Who’s there?” He called._

_A loud thud resonated, like something hitting the wall inside, and quick steps then a door closing could be heard. Max gulped, worried, and slowly approached the source of the commotion, when suddenly a familiar face jumped in front of him, making him scream a high-pitched noise. A hand on his chest, the young Dutchman burst out laughing when he recognised his lover, the Red Bull shirt and curls on his head visible despite the darkness around._

_“Dan you idiot, you scared me haha!”_

_“Hi there Maxy, sorry for that.”_

_Max’s laugh died in his throat at the strange tone in his voice, and only then did he pay attention to his teammate’s attitude. Daniel was visibly shaking, face pale contrasting to his usual tanned skin, wide eyes watering as if he was on the verge of tears, and a hand covering his neck. Max raised an eyebrow, intrigued and worried for his friend._

_“Are you ok?”_

_Daniel seemed to snap out of his stupor and his facial expression quickly changed for a bright smile, which seemed completely off to the younger man._

_“Yeah, yeah! Just wandering around! But it’s getting late, I should get going, see ya!”_

_Before Max could say anything, the Aussie was already far away, walking faster than he had even seen him before. And with his hand moving away from his neck, Max was sure he spotted a darker mark on his lover’s skin, but with the lack of light, he couldn’t be sure of it._

_Well, that was weird, he thought. He shrugged, Daniel could be distant from time to time when he wasn’t feeling like it, but surely he would come back to him when he felt better._

_Max headed back inside the garage, finding his beloved phone on a shelf and quickly sending a message to Lando. Now that he was ready to go, he pushed the door in the back and walked outside on the paddock. A figure appeared further away from him, and he immediately recognised his father as the silhouette turned around at the sound of his footsteps._

_“Hey dad” He said carefully, not wanting to start their inevitable argument before later in the evening. Jos seemed calm though, calmer than he usually was after a bad race._

_“I was looking for you, son.”_

_Max tilted his head on the side, intrigued by the light tone in his voice._

_“Sorry, I forgot my phone, I’m ready now.”_

_His father gave him a small smile, then proceeded to put a hand on his opposite shoulder, squeezing him lightly (earning a puzzled look from the younger boy) and starting to walk towards the paddock exit, but not before shuffling his son’s hair a little with a chuckle. For a second, Max’s brain tried to process what was going on, why his father was behaving so strangely, but the tiny smile he gave him made him forget his growing worries. Maybe a calm evening was what he just needed right now._

“He hurt you?”

At those words, Daniel’s head shot back up and he glanced at him in shock, mouth open but no words coming out. Max took another step back, and his eyes fell on the man’s neck. He wanted to throw up.

“Mijn God…” The Dutchman mouthed, voice unsteady and hands shaking more and more violently.

“Max, I’m so sorry, I-“

“Tell me what happened” He snapped, looking straight at Daniel who winced, wiping his eyes and nose with his hands while mouthing nonsensical words, avoiding the question.

“Daniel no, you – No, I – Dan –“ He quickly lost patience, squeezed his eyes shut and screamed “TELL ME!”

Heavy silence filled the room and Max suddenly realised he punched the wall in his outburst. With the wrong hand.

“Max, you idiot” Daniel muttered and took his hand in his owns, checking for any new injuries as the young driver whined in pain, soreness making its way up to his arm, and he realised with a hiccup he was now crying, salty tears falling from his eyes to his mouth and chin. Daniel sniffled, massaging his knuckles softly.

“Jos didn’t _hurt_ me, but…” The Aussie took a deep breath, Max trying to follow him in his growing panic state.

“Remember how he was with me all the time? Claiming I was distracting you, that I was the reason you didn’t do better, even before we…”

Both of them blushed heavily, avoiding each other’s gaze, but Max nodded still. His father had been a prick with his teammate back in the time.

“Well, one day, I think he had enough of me. After a race, he… He pinned me against a wall, told me to get away from you. I told him to fuck off, of course!”

Daniel chuckled humourlessly at that, but Max’s intense stare made him gulp, and he continued his story.

“But then, he… He put his hands around my neck…” His hands followed his words, encircling his neck, closing his eyes, pain written everywhere on his face. “Told me he knew how to hurt, that he was sure I already knew what he was capable of…” A single tear left his eyes. “That he was sure I saw it on you…” Unconsciously, Max covered his mouth with his free hand. “And that if I didn’t get away from you, he would do worse on me… And you.” He dropped his hands on his lap and exhaled loudly. “I tried to fight back, I really did, but I couldn’t breathe and so I said ok, that I would leave you alone, but on one condition, that he would never lay a hand on you anymore.” A broken sob escaped his lips. “I thought that was the best thing to do, if you could be safe, then being far from you was just a small price to pay.”

Max’s eyes lowered to his right hand, and he tried to stretch it, only resulting in pain shooting violently in his wrist, but he didn’t say anything. It was like he forgot how to talk, his mouth was shut firmly and his brain was clouded by the horror of what he was hearing.

“Max, I’m so sorry, you can’t imagine how much! I should have known better, of course if he could do that, he wouldn’t stop just because he told me he would, I was so stupid!”

“Max, I’m sorry…”

“Max?”

_“Max?”_

_The young man kept his eyes shut, praying every god that could exist out there for his father not to notice he was still awake. The familiar sound of footsteps got closer, and Max could feel his heart punching his chest from the inside, cold shiver adding to the already fresh Netherland winter, his lungs itching to receive more oxygen but he forced himself to breathe as slowly as possible to look unconscious. Tense silence filled his bedroom for a few more heartbeats until he heard Jos exhale sharply, first balancing anxiously on his feet, then kneeling in front of his son’s body, and finally leaving, closing the door carefully behind him._

_Max waited a few more seconds without moving an inch, making sure he was alone, and suddenly a broken sob escaped him, and tears obscured his sight. He tried to move his arms and legs but the sharp pain that resulted immediately deterred him. He whined, sobbing uncontrollably on the hard wood floor. His cheek felt cold from staying on the floor for so long and every muscle of his body was sore or violently painful. After what felt like an eternity, the young man ran out of tears and a massive headache took place in his skull. He collected what was left of his energy to mush on his hands and feet, desperate to get up and take his phone. As he held himself with the edge of his childhood desk, he mentally went through all the people that could help him right now._

_His mother was out of the question, if she ever heard about a quarter of what happened, she would have a heart attack, and Max sincerely thought she had gone through way too much with her ex-husband for him to add salt to the wound. Plus, she would call the police and he didn’t need the extra unwanted attention, nor did he want people to tell him again how weak he was, that he could have defended himself, he heard that enough at home already. Adding to that the bright blue eyes of his little sister, claiming her papa was the “best of the world”… His best friends in the country wouldn’t understand, most of them didn’t even know about his little_ problem _to begin with._

_A name popped in Max’s mind, and as much as he tried to push it away, it seemed to him like the only solution he had. Still breathing with difficulty, his left cheek increasingly swollen and pain shooting from everywhere, he looked around, searching for his phone. He spotted it in the middle of the bed, and in his rush to get to it, he forgot about the particularly sharp pain in his leg and stumbled forwards in a cry, panicking at the noisy mess he made. Surely his father noticed it, as the young driver heard some commotion downstairs and he crawled as fast as he could to his bed, ignoring the wave of pain in his hand when he grabbed the device._

_By now, he knew by heart the moves to make on the screen to get to Daniel’s name and call him._

_“Please, answer me, come ooooon, Dan please!” He muttered through the way too numerous rings until he reached the voicemail and the voice of the Aussie filled his bedroom, closely followed by his sobs. But the sound of someone walking up the stairs pulled him back to reality, and he called the only other person that could understand, despite his need to put her away from this._

_“Hallo?”_

_“Vic it’s me, please help me!” He cried in the speaker, door handle moving and he couldn’t breathe anymore. His sister thankfully understood immediately._

_“Max!”_

“Max!”

Max opened his eyes again, his brain catching up with his surroundings as he uselessly tried to breathe, air not coming down to his lungs, panic settled in his body, and he realised he had fallen off the bed and was kneeled on the floor, the softness of the carpet indulgent under his hurt hand.

“It’s okay Maxy, I got you.”

He leaned in the direction of the voice, two long arms encircling him quickly, and his vision became clearer as seconds (or minutes, he wasn’t sure) passed. His breathing steadied, and he managed to choke out some words.

“You were right all along.” He felt Daniel shift next to him and put a long kiss on top of his head. “I should have gotten away from him, told someone about all of this, reported him, I don’t know… Anything before he got to hurt you…”

And then, he broke down in tears. All the pain, the fear, were crushing his head and lungs, he remembered Daniel that day, threatened in the hands of the person Max kept excusing, he remembered the pain of being separated from him, now knowing his lover had been feeling the same all along but wanted him safe so much he left, he felt his heart break again at the thought of all the bruises Dan didn’t know about and thought never existed due to that broken promise, he remembered all the other bruises and scratches and pain and hurt since he was a child, and now it was all hanging upon Daniel’s head, he thought of all the people that could be hurting because of his _father_ and Max suddenly felt overwhelmed.

An eternity passed, and Dan hold him tight, sobbing too, until Max calmed down, feeling exhausted, his good hand clutching at the other man’s shirt to ground himself.

“I will talk to Christian.”

Short, simple, and he hoped Daniel would understand what it meant because he didn’t have the strength to talk more. He never said anything to his boss, despite his numerous attempts at getting closer to him and protecting him. Christian didn’t need to know to keep him away from trouble, but he was sure he and Daniel would be forever safe if he went to him and just said “dad hurt me”.

“Do you want me to come with you?”

He nodded, and tightened his hold on the Aussie. Even if the older man wanted to leave him now, he wouldn’t be able to (but a small part of Max’s head told him Daniel would not go anywhere).

Max took deep breathes, and finally he moved away from the other, just enough to face him, as Daniel’s hand brushed his cheek, wiping away the remaining tears. The older driver’s brown, beautiful, eyes flicked lower then back to his owns, and in a desperate attempt to make things better, with the last of his energy, Max pushed himself from his safe spot and pressed a kiss on Daniel’s lips, and almost immediately the Aussie returned it, a hand flying to cup his cheek and deepening the kiss.

They were a mess, the young man thought, but how he had missed this.

When lack of air became a problem, they separated, keeping their forehead in contact and looking at each other with small but stupid smiles, until Daniel sighed and shifted, getting up on his feet, taking Max’s hand in his.

“Come on, it’s late, we should go to sleep, we’ll deal with all of this tomorrow.”

Max hummed agreeingly, pushing at his feet unsteadily and his lover slowly dragged him to the bed and covered the both of them with the sheets, his other arm pulling the younger driver closer to him. Max adjusted himself to get more comfortable and slung an arm around Daniel’s waist.

“I missed you, Maxy.”

His eyes stung again, and he sunk his face in the Aussie’s shirt, smiling softly.

“Me too, Dan.”

Tomorrow, Daniel would come with him, he would talk to the Red Bull boss, he would get them all away from his father, and maybe, just maybe, they would be fine.


End file.
